Lesson 52: “I am upset because I see something that is not there.” “I see only the past.” “My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.” “I see nothing as it is now.” “My thoughts do not mean anything.”
I love the Course’s take on the past. This lesson reminds us, “Let me remember that I look on the past to prevent the present from dawning on my mind.”
The ego runs wild with our pasts… This is as insane as the ego gets!
The ego clamps down on all of the reality of the past.
First, something happens in the world, and then the ego judges whatever this is immediately.
So all of the ego’s perception of things automatically has the past weighing on it extensively.
Then after the ego immediately judges everything, then that ego’s version of things means that those perceptions of what happened are all tainted with the ego’s shadow of judgement- and they are seriously less pleasant for us.
Then once we have the ego’s shadowed perception in place, it feels like everything will always be this way.
And this is when we make the present feel like the past because we have no choice in the matter.
The Present, capital “P”- as in aligned with God- is unknown. The Present, when we invite it with God, is simply different from the known- ie the past- so it is terrifying to the ego.
The ego which is masterful at self-preservation- loves more of the same.
Because the ego is generally filling the past, it wants most desperately to get a future of more of itself.
The Course reminds us that God is that layer of intervention into the insanity in our lives.
If we invite God into the picture, then the Present becomes real and we experience all the great stuff.
The Present that has no memory of the past’s wounds and baggage, will be a place where God abounds and Love is abundant.
That can still terrify the ego, but just sit and really know the ego is going to keep us numb, and totally unaware, of the reality that we have a choice in the matter.
But let us just give ourselves permission to remember that God’s Present may make us feel vulnerable on some level, because it is not the ego’s same old tune, but simply give ourselves permission to learn to accept God’s reality and Present, and live in the perfection of the Moment.
Just make the Present- with God- the only thing there is.
Just remember that the Present has absolutely zero upset about it, because it comes to us with the unknown of not having layers of the ego’s judgement.
And so, we can invite it in with enthusiasm, and enjoy the fruits of our being there.
Just remember to forgive that layer of vulnerability, and simply stay in the Present. We can just sit there long enough until we can completely invite it in.