Laurie’s Positive Points:
I think for me resisting the moment is the crux of what causes my despair and heartache.
This is the only thing I think we need to attend to and alter if we are off.
Resisting I believe is when we see life’s picture, including the dark shadow of judgement, and instance that nothing is good as it is.
This inner resistance can actually be a small thing, like it may be hard to notice it, when it comes, because it may seem like a small upset.Resisting is when we are not allowing things to be as they are.
We may even have a smile on our faces externally. We may have part of us that is acting like things are fine, and so we show a smile externally.
But look closely at that little part of us, that is in fact internally totally opposed to what we see.
We may feel like we have just a little judgement about it, so it doesn’t warrant looking further into resolving this issue.
This is when we get confused, because the ego is so good at glossing over the less comfortable stuff, and pretending all is well. And nothing changes if we do this.
Be sure to catch the ego, when that inner voice of judgement is there, even if we can only hear a small voice of the ego at the time.
This is what causes our resistance to what we see. So let’s climb up to the big people’s table, and act in a healthy, adult way, and a God-powered way, in releasing all of those old beliefs that nothing is good enough.
For myself personally, I always see that I feel like God did not invite me to the party, and I feel terrible about this, all the time.
I feel abandoned by God, Whom I want desperately to believe that God has me sitting at the Big People’s table, because God loves me specifically, and permanently.
Ideally, I also want to feel like everything is easy for me, because God graced me with certainty, and Supreme Love, and my lovability, so there is nothing else I need in order to make the best life possible.
I realize I get angry at God, because I feel like God is not on my side in this way.
Then as a result of my anger with God, about these two questions that the ego is always keeping present in my mind is what prevents me from feeing at ease with the picture. I resist the picture because I am angry at God. This sucks, for sure!!
I just need to be aware how real this anger, and my resistance is, and then forgive it all, and offer it to God’s altar for transformation, and allow this to disappear from my consciousness, because I have given it a voice, and allowed it to be healed by God.
But I realize I need to do this all the time. The ego is the master of making this scenario at being angry with God a regular thing, so I need to be sure I am staying steeped in the repetition of the healing process for this, as many times as I need, to change it.