Lesson 150 Laurie’s Reflections

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Lesson 150: Review: “My mind holds only what I think with God.” “I will accept Atonement for myself.” “Only salvation can be said to cure.”

In the world we have many cures that we can buy in the drugstore, or read about in books.  There is a ceaseless cauldron of samples of the way to escape life’s doldrums and for the last time put an end to the torture we find in our minds.  Our egos are continuously telling us that the answer we search for is available and is just within our reach in the world.  We are often patient in the world, sitting on the edge of our seats waiting for some kind of miracle that will cure us finally.

We just sit and wait and wonder if it will ever come.  The world tells us that all we have to do is complete this form, or see this doctor, or lose this much weight.  They are always filling our minds with answers that seem to satisfy our egos.  Our egos are quick to jump on the band wagon and declare our devotion to the idols we seek there that will cure us.

The ego can do its magic.  Our egos can make absolutely anything an idol.  Our ego is convinced the world is the magic cure in whatever form it takes.  There is endless promise about what good will come if we just follow the rules in the world a little differently.  This is always a depressing prospect because it always comes with the failing outcome.  No matter how many attempts we make in the world’s drama, it always turns out to bring us utter chaos and pain.  We never reach the nirvana- and the world’s ‘fix it up’ promise always turns out to be utterly impossible.

Usually our egos complain the whole way.  When the ego knows we are trying our best to reach some worldly goal, we invariably hear the ego’s commentary and complaints.  Our ego is judging endlessly so we never feel happy along the way.  And the ego often sabotages our efforts along the way.  Our egos feel justified in making us feel completely miserable about our choices and that we have no worth as we go.  Then even if we do accomplish the goal for which we set out, when we get there if we aren’t making a decision to let it all be a process for the purpose of God, we will invariably be completely out of sorts and not peaceful.

What the Course teaches us is if we aren’t committed to God’s plan, the likelihood is we are still going to be miserable even if we get to accomplish whatever goal.  We have to watch our intention along the way.  If we are doing it with the ego, we will feel always unsatisfied.  We will have feelings of disgust throughout the experience.  When we have chosen the ego we will never get to lightness or play while we work to accomplish whatever task.  We have to notice very carefully how we feel and simply choose again if we find ourselves not being completely in love with what we are doing.


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