Lesson 347: “What is a Miracle?” “Anger must come from judgement. Judgment is the weapon I would use against myself to keep the miracle away from me.”
The Course’s description here is perfect.
Making our judgement analogous to a weapon is quite fitting.
A weapon is something we hurt ourself with.
We beat ourselves up with the weapon, and it is always something that if used against us, leads to our eventual destruction.
The weapon when claimed by the ego is what gives us jagged shivers of pain. We in our right mind do not want to have weapons around that are up for killing us and annihilating us.
We want to make peace with those weapons not go to war.
But the weapons make us fear a terrible death at the hand of the weapon. We are ask to think about how seriously judgement affects us.
The ego is insanely great at shoving judgement under the rug and so we very often don’t see it for, what it is and deal with it in a Godly and constructive way.
The Course wants us to see how desperately we don’t want to have a weapon around and yet here we are letting the judgement fly under our radar.
We completely miss it.
The Course just invites us to see it and claim it as our own.
We first allow ourselves to see it, then we visit it and hang out with it and acknowledge it.
This is important to simply get it to the surface of our minds so that we then can jump for joy and give it to God in the next step.
But it is ever so important we not to be mean and unkind and unloving, or at least disrespectful to the judgement.
We don’t want to try to dissociate from it because it seems like we don’t ideally want it within us.
We are asked instead to simply have a conversation with it.
Hear it and then, gently allow it to go to God.
When we are kind, we are infinitely happier because we never get into the attack cycle with judgement.
When we are in the attack cycle, we feel terrible. So this non-judgement is certainly for our purposes first and foremost, because we will be much, much happier in the process of searching our inner worlds.