Laurie’s Positive Points: Learning to laugh is the miracle.
We need conscious laughter definitely.
It occurred to me in my early 20’s that I never laughed in general.
Suddenly it became apparent that I never had fun and I never laughed.
I finally got the message at that time that I thought there was something wrong with me, because whenever I went to movies in my childhood, I would find consistently this peculiar thing.
The others at the show would think it was funny, and so laughed out loud to express.
They were enjoying themselves because they found something funny. I myself never laughed out loud or inside. I am not exaggerating, it was never.
I never thought about it in my childhood, but I did really see it later.
This was good information for me.
I realize with much more hindsight now that I had had significant trauma in my early life, and as a result I never felt easy, light or joyful.
Not even a little. I never laughed because my existence was so painful and difficult after the trauma, I was never able to get back into the rhythm of laughing later.
I stayed stuck in trauma for most of my life.
Because my life had been so hard, it was too difficult to get out of the rut of suffering every day, because it felt normal.
I really missed laughing.
I would be attracted to more drama, and more attack because I was used to it.
I was like a magnet, attracting more trauma, and I did consistently, which made laughing even harder to achieve much later in my life because I kept reliving my trauma.
Doing the Course in Miracles has given me a new direction and purpose of working toward having more success with laughing and being playful.
I see that even I can learn to laugh, and I am getting better and more comfortable with laughing because I practice heartily.
I just want to remind everyone that we all can get better at having more fun.
We all have a hard time with learning to enjoy ourselves, but it is always available for us when we make the time for it.
Just give ourselves that compassion and self love when we resist even learning to laugh since ideally, we want to feel harmonious within ourselves.
We all resist because our egos have us in that sand trap of control, and we are not moving at all because they over power us.
Laughing is fun and easy if we give it space within ourselves.
Give the laughter some openness to changing how we engage with life and how we engage with ourselves.
Just appreciate for those of us who have had a hard time being light and easy, then, this will change if we just open to the possibility it will.
We just need permission to thank our old ego way of overindulging in the blues and be up for a new scene on the horizon.
Just keep the awareness that all is well, and that we are going in the direction of more ease, and being up for laughter.