Lesson 87 Laurie’s Reflections

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Lesson 87: Review: “I will there be light.”  “There is no will but God’s.”

This lesson says, “It is not my will to grope about in darkness, fearful of shadows and afraid of things unseen and unreal.”  Grope is a perfect word to create an image here.  Grope means “to search blindly or uncertainly for a word or answer.”  What our egos do is stop the flow of God’s love.  When we are functioning in the world, our egos are desperate to make meaning of everything, so they are hunting around, with eyes fully closed.

Our egos attempt to find answers for all the dilemmas we face.  And the ego always falls short of any true understanding.  Thus, the ego goes on and on doing the same pointless gestures in the world and ends up entirely dumbfounded.  They haven’t even the first clue about how to find meaning.  We have to be willing to simply stop the old habit of being uncertain and anxious in attempts to find answers.

We are asked to simply stop the ego from doing what it does.  The ego is always wrong because the ego believes in lack and what is not God.  This is why are requested to make the mental shift into a reality that is nothing but perfect.  Our egos do their dance of lack of confidence in what the Course calls certainty because it is always going in the wrong direction.

When we will there be light this is a breathtakingly beautiful way to approach our perception.  We carry the power within us in the form of our will to make reality some amazing picture.  We have the keys to the kingdom when we simply allow light to fill every crevice in our worldly view.  Light is the way to bring peace.  Light flickers away any grievance.  Any belief in judgement and darkness is cast away immediately when the light turns on.  The light blazes away any thought of shadow.  Shining light into the darkness is the way to bring healing to whatever we thought we lost along the way.

This lesson says, “I try to attack only when I am afraid.”  We have to understand that fear is always underneath attack.  We have to realize we have this old ego song about living in the regular state of fear.  Fear is so often the fuel that feeds attack.  Our egos get triggered and feel eager to lash out.

The fear can be all consuming to the ego and simply push our minds to the limit of tolerance.  Then we push out against what we see in the form of attack because we can’t calm down the energy of force.  Fear becomes the instigator of starting battle externally.  We can feel like we can’t settle this down inside so we turn it outside as a reaction.


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