Lesson 134 Laurie’s Reflections

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Lesson 134: “Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.”

The Course invites us to recreate our whole relationship with forgiveness.  Lots of us think forgiveness comes with strings attached.  When we forgive, there is always a “but” in the ego’s mentality.  We buy into the insane notion that forgiveness is too difficult for frequent use and so we use it sparingly because we think we won’t be able to carry out all the parameters with which forgiveness comes.  We may cringe at the thought of forgiving others because of the huge emotional backlash that could come after when we forgive with the idea that it is always for the indebted.

We may not want to be forgiven from others because of all the hidden promises that the forgiveness is dealt with.  We can surely dread forgiveness when we see through the ego’s lens.  Getting forgiven seems like it comes with an enormous price tag.  We end up with blocking our willingness to forgive because it seems like forgiveness is so loaded with worldly, unpleasant expectations.

We all find ourselves sometimes noticing that we have a skewed vision of forgiveness.  Lots of us have an early introduction of the nature of forgiveness from religions and from our families, where there were a lot of wounds around what forgiveness means.
The Course teaches us to stop and take a breath and pay attention to how we think about forgiveness.  If we are harboring our own sense of victimization around forgiveness, we need to understand that replacing our old beliefs is what Jesus here is teaching us to do.  Our view of forgiveness being a chore and a punishment for when we do something wrong is a wrong view of forgiveness.

Jesus says that forgiveness is our constant road to the happy dream.  When we simply lay down the belief that we want to avoid forgiveness at all costs, then we can replace this with the knowing that forgiving others is the way to reconnect when we believed for a moment in our separation from others.  When we forgive another, we end up remembering that we are joined. Forgiveness is the salve that heals the judgement of another person and then when that block to loves presence is alleviated, we can just sit fully present in love with another.

When we forgive ourselves, this is the way to love of our Self.  This, then is honoring God’s gift which is our relationship with ourselves.  When our hearts get cleared from our own resistance to self-forgiveness, we end up being utterly elated and deeply peaceful.  When we hold grudges against ourselves we end up being miserable because our alignment within ourselves is off.  We are emotionally and energetically unbalanced.  We have to let go of what we thought forgiveness was and now just hold forgiveness in the light with God- allowing it to be the way to bring us back to the kingdom with God.

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