Lesson 196 Laurie’s Reflections

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Lesson 196: “It can be but myself I crucify.”  Our relationship with ourselves is so, so important.  The Course says that I am the only person out there and every other person I see is just a reflection of myself.  This means that our relationships with ourselves is the only important thing because that is the whole of what we can change in our lives- our own mind.  The relationship with ourselves is so important in which to find peace within our own hearts and be willing to stay vigilant about undoing the inner conflict we have when we feel in any way judgmental about ourselves.

When we are judgmental this is simply a form of attack.  This is definitely an experience of being crucified.  Our tendency to attack ourselves in our thoughts is so tempting and regular it is very hard to deny.  We almost feel like we have to do it or we often can’t stop the ego’s rant.  But this is the only relationship there is so we have to take this into account and begin to deeply understand how powerfully we are impacted when we allow our minds to be a battle ground.

Lots of people think because our minds are internal that it doesn’t matter how much judgement we have toward ourselves. We have to step out of this lapse in sanity.  Our thinking about ourselves is in fact the only reality in the world.  Everything else we see is simply a manifestation of those thoughts.  We have to be gentle with our thoughts about ourselves.  This is the land within where we need to see peace.  We need to stop making the problem in our own   perception of the world and our bodies.

This lesson says, “It is not time we need for this.  It is but willingness.”  Jesus teaches us here that our concept of time is entirely false and based on this unreal dream, which is what we call the world.  We usually think of everything in the concept of time.  How long until I make enough money to retire?  How long until I am a famous and talented musician?  How long until I overcome my eating issues?  We usually can’t think of anything we do in the world that isn’t framed in some perception of time.  This is an automatic for us because we from our very first breath on this planet are experiencing life in time.

We must know that time is not as we believe it in the world.  Jesus says in the Course for example we can become enlightened if we so desire in s single instant.  All we have to do is be willing.  Time means nothing.  We don’t have to stumble through a million lifetimes before we get to this goal if we do desire.  Time disappears in God’s world.  This is such a profound gift because many of us in the world believe that our worldly goals are going to be at the continual mercy of time.  We think time rules the realm of possibility.

We toss aside our goals because our egos quickly affirm- this goal is way too time consuming and difficult to achieve.  Then we have a battle over our willingness, as we often find ourselves not being able to muster even a little willingness because our minds are locked into the world’s laws and we conclude that progress is surely a vacuous attempt.  The ego gives us reason not to show our willingness because we think time will slow and stop any positive movement toward our goal.


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